ProZ.com translation contests »
1st Annual ProZ.com Translation Contest: "Awakening" » French to English

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Source text in French

Lorsqu'on sent l'éveil tout proche, mais qu'on n'est pas “dedans”, on a envie d'y “entrer”. Et c'est justement cette envie qui nous maintient “au-dehors”, car elle souligne notre frontière avec ce Tout dans lequel on aimerait s’immerger. En fait, il faut ne pas vouloir y entrer. Il ne suffit pas de ne pas vouloir y entrer: il faut ne pas vouloir y entrer. La passivité ne mène à rien. Il faut être actif, mais une activité entièrement occupée par l’attente — plus encore, entièrement satisfaite par l’attente. Bien souvent, on sent monter en soi une vague dont on pense qu’elle pourrait nous propulser au-delà de soi. Et on se met en tâche de la renforcer. C’est là qu’on gâche tout. Comme si elle avait besoin de notre aide. Quelle arrogance. Et pourtant, elle a besoin de nous. De notre présence. Elle a besoin qu’on soit là, qu’on se tienne face à elle, qu’on croie suffisamment en soi et qu’on s’aime assez pour rester ainsi tout nu face à elle, sans rien lui apporter, que notre seule présence. Tout est là. On est encore face à “rien”, et à ce moment-là, ce qui est, au sens fort, c'est notre attente. Non pas son but, mais l’attente elle-même. Tout le reste, ce sont des projections du désir. De l’évanescent. Mais l’attente, elle, est réelle. Si on parvient à la laisser seule être, à prendre appui sur elle, et non pas sur l'objet qui la soulagerait, on prend appui sur la seule parcelle d'être qu’on a à sa disposition. Aussitôt qu’on le fait, qu'on pose le pied sur la réalité de cette attente, c’est comme si le fond de la conscience cédait, et nous faisait basculer dans l'Être.

The winning entry has been announced in this pair.

There were 32 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 5 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Entries (32 total; 5 finalists) — Expand all entries

When we feel enlightenment drawing near, but we are not yet “inside”, we have a desire to “enter”. And it is precisely this desire which keeps us on the “outside”, for it underlines the barrier between us and the All in which we would like to be immersed. In fact, we should want not to enter. It is not enough not to want to enter: we should want not to enter. Passivity leads nowhere. We must be active, actively engaged in waiting — indeed, completely satisfied by the waiting. Quite often, we might sense a wave rising inside which feels as if it might be able to propel us beyond our self, and we set about trying to reinforce it. That's where we spoil it all. As if it needed our help! What arrogance! And yet, it needs us. It needs our presence. It needs us to be there, to face it, for us to believe in ourselves and love ourselves enough to remain naked before it in this way, without bringing anything to it apart from our simple presence. Everything is there. We are once more face to face with “nothingness”, and at that moment, that which is, in the strong sense, is our waiting. Not its goal, but the waiting itself. All the rest is just the projections of desire, of what is fleeting. But the waiting itself is real. If we manage to just let it be, to draw strength from it and not from the object of the waiting, we are drawing strength from the only patch of being which we have available. As soon as we do that, as soon as we put a foot on the reality of this waiting, it is as if the root of consciousness gives way, and we are plunged into Being.
Entry #6976
Paul Hirsh
Paul Hirsh
Frankrike
Winner
Voting points1st2nd3rd
11324 x47 x23 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry2.772.87 (15 ratings)2.67 (12 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
  • 12 users agreed with "likes" (15 total agrees)
  • 3 users disagreed with "likes" (4 total disagrees)
-3
+6
2
enlightenment
Good term selection
Sheila Wilson
-1
+5
2
In fact, we should want not to enter. It is not enough not to want to enter: we should want not to enter.
Other
The positi​on of "not​" is cruci​al to the ​sense
Sheila Wilson
+4
1
actively engaged in waiting
Flows well
Kimberly De Haan
When you feel awakening is imminent, but you’re not yet "inside" it, you feel a desire to "get inside" it. And it’s precisely this desire that keeps us "outside", because it highlights what separates us from the Whole we would like to be immersed in. In fact, we have to not want to get inside it. It is not enough for there to be no desire to get inside it: we must actually not want to get inside. Passivity gets us nowhere. We have to be active, but active in a way that is wholly absorbed in the waiting — that is, in fact, wholly satisfied with waiting. Quite often, we feel a wave rising up inside of us that we imagine could sweep us away beyond ourselves. And we set about trying to reinforce it. That’s where we spoil everything. As if it needed our help. What arrogance. And yet, it does need us. Our presence. It needs us to be there, to stand before it, to believe in and love ourselves enough to remain just so, completely naked before it, without adding anything, apart from our simple presence. Everything is there. We still have "nothing" before us, and at that precise moment, what is, in the strongest sense, is our waiting. Not its goal, but the waiting itself. Everything else is just the projections of desire. Ephemera. But the waiting itself is real. If we are able to let it simply be, to be directed by it and not by the object that's supposed to relieve it, we are directed by the only portion of being that's available to us. No sooner do we do this, and take foothold on the reality of this waiting, it's as if the ground of consciousness falls away and precipitates us into Being.
Entry #8041
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
5110 x41 x29 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.193.27 (11 ratings)3.11 (9 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 5 users entered 7 "like" tags
  • 8 users agreed with "likes" (14 total agrees)
  • 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-1
+2
1
what separates us
Flows well
Sarah Cochran
+3
Whole
Good term selection
Sarah Cochran
+3
wholly absorbed in the waiting
Good term selection
Janet Cannon
-1
1
take foothold
Flows well
though I w​ould say "​take a foo​thold"
Kimberly De Haan
+1
take foothold on the reality
Good term selection
"take foot​hold" is a​n elegant ​phrase
RHELLER
-1
+4
2
precipitates us into Being
Flows well
A good sol​ution
Jennifer Forbes
+1
1
precipitates us into Being.
Good term selection
good use o​f vocabula​ry (bascul​er)
RHELLER
When we feel that awakening is close, but we are not “in” it, we want to “enter" it. And it is precisely this desire that keeps us “outside”, because it underlines our boundary with this Whole in which we would like to immerse ourselves. In fact, we must not want to enter it. It is not sufficient not to want to enter it: we must not want to enter it. Passivity leads nowhere. We must be active, but this activeness must be fully occupied by waiting – or more still, completely satisfied by waiting. Very often, we feel rising inside us a wave that we think could push us beyond ourselves. And we set ourselves the task of strengthening it. And that is where we ruin it all. As if this wave needed our help. What arrogance! And yet it does need us. Our presence. It needs us to be there, to face it, to have enough self-belief and self-love to remain completely naked in the face of it, without providing it with anything but our mere presence. Therein lies the whole question. We are still faced with “nothing”, and at that moment, what is, in the strongest sense of the term, is our waiting. Not its goal but the waiting itself. Anything else is a projection of desire. Evanescence. But waiting itself is real. If we manage to just let it be, to stand on it and not on the object that would relieve it, we stand on the only fragment of being that we have at our disposal. As soon as we do it, as soon as we set foot on the reality of this waiting, it is as if the bottom of consciousness were subsiding, making us plunge into Being.
Entry #8134
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
478 x46 x23 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.413.42 (12 ratings)3.40 (10 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 2 users entered 2 "like" tags
  • 6 users agreed with "likes" (9 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
+3
Whole
Good term selection
Sarah Cochran
-1
+6
2
self-belief and self-love
Good term selection
lundy
When we feel that awakening is so close, but we're not yet “in” it, we want to “get" in. And it's this very wanting that keeps us “out”, because it underscores the barrier between us and this Everything in which we want to immerse ourselves. Actually, we mustn’t want to get in. But it’s not enough to just not want to get it: we MUST NOT want to get in. Passiveness will get us nowhere. We have to be active, but active in a way that is occupied entirely by waiting—or better yet, that is satisfied entirely by the waiting. Often, we feel a wave rising in us that we believe could carry us outside ourselves. So, we start trying to make it stronger. But that's where we ruin everything. As if it needed our help. How very arrogant! And yet, it does need us. It needs our presence. It needs us to be there, to stand before it, to believe strongly enough in ourselves and to love ourselves enough to stand naked before it, offering nothing but our presence. That's it. We’re still standing before "nothing", and at that very moment, what is, in the true sense, is our waiting. Not the purpose of the waiting, but the waiting itself. Everything else is just a projection of our wishes. Fleeting. But the waiting, now that's real. If we can just let it be, just lean on it, and not on whatever it is that would ease it, we lean on the only part of being that we have. And as soon as we do this, we step into the reality of this waiting, as if our very consciousness gave way, dropping us into Being.
Entry #6973
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
416 x47 x23 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.103.09 (11 ratings)3.11 (9 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 3 users entered 4 "like" tags
  • 5 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
  • 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
-1
+1
1
we MUST NOT want to get in
Other
good use o​f emphasis​, mirrors ​the italic​s in the o​riginal we​ll
Sarah Cochran
+1
1
As if it needed our help. How very arrogant! And yet, it does need us. It needs our presence.
Flows well
An excelle​nt way of ​adapting t​hose short​ phrases t​o English
Janet Cannon
+1
How very arrogant!
Flows well
Karen Vincent-Jones (X)
-1
+2
1
as if our very consciousness gave way, dropping us into Being.
Flows well
Karen Vincent-Jones (X)
When we feel very close to awakening, but aren’t “inside” it, we want to “enter.” And this desire is exactly what keeps us “outside,” because it emphasizes the boundary between us and the All in which we would like to immerse ourselves. In fact, we must not want to enter it. And it is not enough that we simply don’t want to enter: we must not want to enter. Passivity leads to nothing. We must be active, but an activity entirely occupied with waiting – what’s more, entirely satisfied by waiting. Often, we feel a wave rising in us that we think could propel us beyond ourselves. And we start trying to strengthen it. That’s where we spoil everything. As if this wave needed our help. What arrogance! And yet it does need us. It needs our presence. It needs us to be there, to face it, to believe in ourselves enough and to love ourselves enough to remain totally naked facing it, without contributing anything, only our presence. All is there. We are still facing “nothing,” and at that moment, what is, what exists, is our waiting. Not the goal, but the waiting itself. Everything else is only a projection of our desire. Of the evanescent. The waiting is what is real. If we manage to let it simply be, to lean on it, and not on the goal that would relieve it, we lean on the only fragment of being that is available to us. As soon as we do that, as soon as we set foot on the reality of this waiting, it’s as if the bottom of our consciousness collapses, plunging us into Being.
Entry #6260
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
397 x44 x23 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry2.782.75 (12 ratings)2.80 (10 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 3 users entered 4 "like" tags
  • 3 users agreed with "likes" (4 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
+2
What arrogance! And yet it does need us. It needs our presence.
Flows well
good solut​ion to Ang​licize tho​se choppy ​phrases
Janet Cannon
-1
need us.  It needs our presence.  It needs us to be there
Flows well
Nice balan​ce, nice r​epetition
Kimberly De Haan
+2
1
It needs our presence.
Good term selection
explanatio​n of the n​on-verbal ​sentence i​n the Fren​ch
lundy